Wednesday, February 15, 2006
Reply to Lois: Fairness in Adoption
My dear Lois,
You do indeed need an education on what is FAIR and UNFAIR in adoption!!!
Adoption does not begin and end with the wishes of people like you who want a child. It does not center around YOUR needs and desires. Adoption is SUPPOSED be CHILD-CENTERED! That is, it’s purpose is to find home for children who need them, not do what is most expedient for YOU!
When you look at adoption from the needs of the child...every child’s first and foremost right is to have the family he was born into be able to care for him. Read The United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child – which the US had never ratified, because of pressure from people who want their rights to supercede those of helpless children and who instead see children as a commodity that their money can buy...as it is also (perhaps even more so) opposed by those who profit form the sale of babies.
Every MOTHER has the right to receive the support she needs – financial and emotional – to keep her family together! To PREY on women in destitute conditions and take their children from them like a vulture hovering over an animal waiting for them to die to eat their flesh...THAT is UNFAIR!
For money to be the deciding factor of who is “fit” to keep and raise their own child and who is not, that is unfair! Rickie Solinger, historian and author, states very clearly that adoption exists on the backs of resourceless women. Women who “have” exploiting those who “have not.”
NO – six months is NOT too long for a mother to make together life together and save her family. Sic months is not too long to make a decision that will permanently and irrevocable change her life and that of her child! It is the least we can do to help women in dire situations. If that is inconvenient for those waiting to obtain babies as a result of another’s misfortune, that is just too bad...wait for someone else’s misfortune! I have no pity whatsoever. Adoptors are there to save children WHO NEED SAVING...not pry them loose form mothers who want to keep them!!! That is just a total distortion of what adoption should be.
Furthermore – what is most UNFAIR in adoption law is that adopted citizens in the US are treated as second class citizens in regard to their own birth and medical records. Deprived knowing the truth of their heritage – with less rights in that regard than convicted murderers! That’s unfair.
What’s UNFAIR is a sealed record system that condones and promotes anyone to set up ad adoption “agency” and buy and sell babies like used cars (as Artie Elgart, a real used car salesman did in Philadelphia at the Golden Cradle!) to whoever has the price to pay without any background checks to protect the safely of the children in placed. That’s unfair.
What’s UNFAIR is the kids who die and are abused sexually and physically by adoptive parents as a result of these slipshod gray an d black market adoptions...THAT IS UNFAIR!!!
What's UNFAIR is thousands of kids languishing in institutions and being shuffled from foster home to foster home, abused in many of those homes, while people such as yourself and your friends SHOP overseas for an IMPORTED PRODUCT!!
What’s UNFAIR is that adoptions are allowed to proceed totally unregulated. What's UNFAIR is that the U.S. does not abide by the UN Convention...
What’s unfair is fathers being denied their rights every day...What’s unfair is when a mother looses he battle to regain her own child because the adoptive parents have far more money for attorneys and claim they are “the only parents the child has ever known” an absolute LIE...that’s unfair. And this happens even when it is PROVEN and the court admits, that the adoption was obtained illegally and under duress...or when the father was never notified of the adoption...That’s unfair.
It’s Unfair when women are transported across state lines and told to lie to their parents and/or the father of their child, so their child can be sold on the black market.
The bottom line is that It is sad that some people are not able to have children biologically – but that des not mean that anyone OWES them a child! being blind is also very sad, but that doesn’t mean that we allow corneas to be SOLD and offer money to indigent people to give theirs up so someone “more deserving” with more “resources” can have their eyes and the poor should go blind.
Adoption was ever intended as a “cure” for infertility and the “needs” of adoptors are totally secondary to the children needing homes. It’s not all about what is best for YOU as an adoptor....making it quicker and easier for YOU!
Lois, there is a LOT that is unfair about adoption, and when you begin to realize that it does not all resolve around you and your needs as an adoptive parent, I welcome you to join the fight to humanize and reform adoption to make it much more fair to the ones who need it the most – the children.
There are adoption conferences you can attend and books to read (and not just the HOW TO adopt books) and many things you can do to educate yourself and help make adoption better for ALL. Beacuse TOGETHER we can shut down the illegal, corrupt adoption "agencies" and facilitators who prey on BOTH birth and adoptive parents at the expense of the children they flesh peddle.
With hope,
Mirah
You do indeed need an education on what is FAIR and UNFAIR in adoption!!!
Adoption does not begin and end with the wishes of people like you who want a child. It does not center around YOUR needs and desires. Adoption is SUPPOSED be CHILD-CENTERED! That is, it’s purpose is to find home for children who need them, not do what is most expedient for YOU!
When you look at adoption from the needs of the child...every child’s first and foremost right is to have the family he was born into be able to care for him. Read The United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child – which the US had never ratified, because of pressure from people who want their rights to supercede those of helpless children and who instead see children as a commodity that their money can buy...as it is also (perhaps even more so) opposed by those who profit form the sale of babies.
Every MOTHER has the right to receive the support she needs – financial and emotional – to keep her family together! To PREY on women in destitute conditions and take their children from them like a vulture hovering over an animal waiting for them to die to eat their flesh...THAT is UNFAIR!
For money to be the deciding factor of who is “fit” to keep and raise their own child and who is not, that is unfair! Rickie Solinger, historian and author, states very clearly that adoption exists on the backs of resourceless women. Women who “have” exploiting those who “have not.”
NO – six months is NOT too long for a mother to make together life together and save her family. Sic months is not too long to make a decision that will permanently and irrevocable change her life and that of her child! It is the least we can do to help women in dire situations. If that is inconvenient for those waiting to obtain babies as a result of another’s misfortune, that is just too bad...wait for someone else’s misfortune! I have no pity whatsoever. Adoptors are there to save children WHO NEED SAVING...not pry them loose form mothers who want to keep them!!! That is just a total distortion of what adoption should be.
Furthermore – what is most UNFAIR in adoption law is that adopted citizens in the US are treated as second class citizens in regard to their own birth and medical records. Deprived knowing the truth of their heritage – with less rights in that regard than convicted murderers! That’s unfair.
What’s UNFAIR is a sealed record system that condones and promotes anyone to set up ad adoption “agency” and buy and sell babies like used cars (as Artie Elgart, a real used car salesman did in Philadelphia at the Golden Cradle!) to whoever has the price to pay without any background checks to protect the safely of the children in placed. That’s unfair.
What’s UNFAIR is the kids who die and are abused sexually and physically by adoptive parents as a result of these slipshod gray an d black market adoptions...THAT IS UNFAIR!!!
What's UNFAIR is thousands of kids languishing in institutions and being shuffled from foster home to foster home, abused in many of those homes, while people such as yourself and your friends SHOP overseas for an IMPORTED PRODUCT!!
What’s UNFAIR is that adoptions are allowed to proceed totally unregulated. What's UNFAIR is that the U.S. does not abide by the UN Convention...
What’s unfair is fathers being denied their rights every day...What’s unfair is when a mother looses he battle to regain her own child because the adoptive parents have far more money for attorneys and claim they are “the only parents the child has ever known” an absolute LIE...that’s unfair. And this happens even when it is PROVEN and the court admits, that the adoption was obtained illegally and under duress...or when the father was never notified of the adoption...That’s unfair.
It’s Unfair when women are transported across state lines and told to lie to their parents and/or the father of their child, so their child can be sold on the black market.
The bottom line is that It is sad that some people are not able to have children biologically – but that des not mean that anyone OWES them a child! being blind is also very sad, but that doesn’t mean that we allow corneas to be SOLD and offer money to indigent people to give theirs up so someone “more deserving” with more “resources” can have their eyes and the poor should go blind.
Adoption was ever intended as a “cure” for infertility and the “needs” of adoptors are totally secondary to the children needing homes. It’s not all about what is best for YOU as an adoptor....making it quicker and easier for YOU!
Lois, there is a LOT that is unfair about adoption, and when you begin to realize that it does not all resolve around you and your needs as an adoptive parent, I welcome you to join the fight to humanize and reform adoption to make it much more fair to the ones who need it the most – the children.
There are adoption conferences you can attend and books to read (and not just the HOW TO adopt books) and many things you can do to educate yourself and help make adoption better for ALL. Beacuse TOGETHER we can shut down the illegal, corrupt adoption "agencies" and facilitators who prey on BOTH birth and adoptive parents at the expense of the children they flesh peddle.
With hope,
Mirah
# posted by Senior Mom @ 7:40 AM 
