Tuesday, August 22, 2006
Coping...
...
Merry Bloch Jones described "birthmother" syndrome in 1993 as:
1. Signs of unresolved grief, such as lingering denial, anger, or depression
2. Symptoms of posttraumatic stress disorder, such as flashbacks, nightmares, anxiety, avoidance, or phobic reactions
3. Diminished self-esteem, passivity, abandonment of previous goals, or feelings of powerlessness, worthlessness, and victimization
4. Dual identities, divided into outer pretenses of ‘perfection’ or ‘normalcy’ and secret inner feelings of shame, self-condemnation, and isolation
5. Arrested emotional development, typified by the sense of being ‘stuck’ where they were when they relinquished
6. Self-punishment, often inflicted through participation in abusive relationships, abuse of drugs or alcohol, eating disorders, or other self-destructive behaviors
I often feel I am in a bottomlest pit. Somedays I can paddle and keep afloat, some days even reach the top and get a breath of fresh air. Others days I am drowning...
Most days I am among those of us clawing our way up out of this bottomless pit of emotions. Unfortuanetly, there are some who feel the life boat is too small for all of us. I am told that in lay-led self-help groups such as Compassionate Friends (for parents of children who are deceased) or groups for parents with mental illness...it is not uncommon for parents to each feel their pain is worse than the next persons.
One feels it is worse to have lost a child at birth and never have another. Another thinks loosing a teen with potential is far worse. Without professional guidance such groups can be more destructive than helpful.
Merry Bloch Jones described "birthmother" syndrome in 1993 as:
1. Signs of unresolved grief, such as lingering denial, anger, or depression
2. Symptoms of posttraumatic stress disorder, such as flashbacks, nightmares, anxiety, avoidance, or phobic reactions
3. Diminished self-esteem, passivity, abandonment of previous goals, or feelings of powerlessness, worthlessness, and victimization
4. Dual identities, divided into outer pretenses of ‘perfection’ or ‘normalcy’ and secret inner feelings of shame, self-condemnation, and isolation
5. Arrested emotional development, typified by the sense of being ‘stuck’ where they were when they relinquished
6. Self-punishment, often inflicted through participation in abusive relationships, abuse of drugs or alcohol, eating disorders, or other self-destructive behaviors
I often feel I am in a bottomlest pit. Somedays I can paddle and keep afloat, some days even reach the top and get a breath of fresh air. Others days I am drowning...
Most days I am among those of us clawing our way up out of this bottomless pit of emotions. Unfortuanetly, there are some who feel the life boat is too small for all of us. I am told that in lay-led self-help groups such as Compassionate Friends (for parents of children who are deceased) or groups for parents with mental illness...it is not uncommon for parents to each feel their pain is worse than the next persons.
One feels it is worse to have lost a child at birth and never have another. Another thinks loosing a teen with potential is far worse. Without professional guidance such groups can be more destructive than helpful.
# posted by Senior Mom @ 7:17 PM 
