Thursday, August 31, 2006
Enough is Enough...
...
Once again all ends in anger...unreasonable anger.
I am not "a leader" of anything. Nor am I a "moderator" of anything. This is not a list or a chat room with a moderator. It is a blog. My blog. My place to state my opinions. I represent no one by myself and do not claim
otherwise.
Why do any or all of you (can't tell how many anony mouses there are) all feel the obsessive need to come here and argue with me about my opinions??
My belief that ExiledMothers and OUSA blamed a lot of ills of adoption on the "b" word is two fold"
1) The militant insistent on banning its use
2) Diane Truski's article which has since been re-written and makes far more sense now then when it was originally posted and when it commented on it in April.
The first posting of that article "Why Birthmother Means Breeder" stated that the word birth implies breeder and that the word ‘birthmother’ is the cause of us being exploited or used as breeders, or thought of as incubators. It also related the use of the "b" word to the lies about us wanting anonymity.
The earlier version of this article said "in other countries the term natural mother is used." So this is an entirely new version which now recognizes that money is the driving force what pushes adotpion today. I am glad that Diane saw the logic in some of my critiques of her article. I am saddened that instead of thanking me for improving it and making it a more logical article, I am still castiagted and stones are thrown at me.
I wish everyone who is filled with so much anger toward me would go back to the links on the left - at the top or bottom of your page - and click April and then read two posts there...Monday, April 24, "Adoption Langauge and DisUnity" and Thursday, April 27, "A Plea for Unity." Go back and read that I have never disagreed that the "b" word is not a great word - I disagreed with it being blamed on all the ills of adoption.
I am not your enemy. I am one of you! We are the same. We have all suffered. Why is there is so much anonmosity? You even reply to me in anger to a post about the death of child! Where is your civility, "kindness" that you ask for yourselves? Where is your humanity, your heart you common decency? I sincerely hope none of you ever have to live with outliving a child of yours - and being faced with another who sufferes the same illneses that cuased the death of your first child.
We are all angry about what happened to us; deeply dmamaged by it... but we need to direct that anger where it belongs, not at each other.
No I am not familiar with what Carole Anderson wrote in 1991. (And I have requested that you give sources, as I do). But it just goes to prove that CUB is not all bad or all wrong, just as neither is any other group of individual.
With all due respect for Karen's research...if you call the 60's "The Baby Scoop Era" are you not syaing that tehre were an abundnace of white infants adopted during that era? is that not confirmed by Solinger?
The percentage of premarital births placed for adoption has decreased since the 1970s. Analyses of three cycles of the National Survey of Family Growth show the following trend:
* From 1952 to 1972, 8.7% of all premarital births were placed for adoption.
* From 1973 to 1981, this percentage fell to 4.1%.
* From 1982 to 1988, it fell further to 2%. (Bachrach, Stolley, London, 1992)
ttp://statistics.adoption.com/information/adoption-statistics-placing-children.html
During the same period, International adoptions increased dramatically. These are facts.
I spent my life researching these facts. Nowhere, other than Diane Turski's original article, which she herself changed, is there any claim that the word birthmother has caused any change in adoption practice.
So, as I said just yesterday...if the "b" word bothers some of you, fine! I myself have made very effort not to use it. I try hard to be respectful and not hurt people.
No one is forcing you to use any word you don't want to use or "dictating." Not CUB, not me, not BJ Lifton (who is blamed in one article quoting Turski, for having created the term). http://www.amfor.net/AdoptSpeak.html
No one is forcing it on you. Define yourselves as you are comfortable and let the others do the same for themsvles.
I am putting this blog to rest for a while...or at least this subject. I will NOT post any more comments. I said what I have had say many times. You have all said what you have said. We are getting no where. This is not productive.
End of issue.
Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard(er) battle.
Plato
Once again all ends in anger...unreasonable anger.
I am not "a leader" of anything. Nor am I a "moderator" of anything. This is not a list or a chat room with a moderator. It is a blog. My blog. My place to state my opinions. I represent no one by myself and do not claim
otherwise.
Why do any or all of you (can't tell how many anony mouses there are) all feel the obsessive need to come here and argue with me about my opinions??
My belief that ExiledMothers and OUSA blamed a lot of ills of adoption on the "b" word is two fold"
1) The militant insistent on banning its use
2) Diane Truski's article which has since been re-written and makes far more sense now then when it was originally posted and when it commented on it in April.
The first posting of that article "Why Birthmother Means Breeder" stated that the word birth implies breeder and that the word ‘birthmother’ is the cause of us being exploited or used as breeders, or thought of as incubators. It also related the use of the "b" word to the lies about us wanting anonymity.
The earlier version of this article said "in other countries the term natural mother is used." So this is an entirely new version which now recognizes that money is the driving force what pushes adotpion today. I am glad that Diane saw the logic in some of my critiques of her article. I am saddened that instead of thanking me for improving it and making it a more logical article, I am still castiagted and stones are thrown at me.
I wish everyone who is filled with so much anger toward me would go back to the links on the left - at the top or bottom of your page - and click April and then read two posts there...Monday, April 24, "Adoption Langauge and DisUnity" and Thursday, April 27, "A Plea for Unity." Go back and read that I have never disagreed that the "b" word is not a great word - I disagreed with it being blamed on all the ills of adoption.
I am not your enemy. I am one of you! We are the same. We have all suffered. Why is there is so much anonmosity? You even reply to me in anger to a post about the death of child! Where is your civility, "kindness" that you ask for yourselves? Where is your humanity, your heart you common decency? I sincerely hope none of you ever have to live with outliving a child of yours - and being faced with another who sufferes the same illneses that cuased the death of your first child.
We are all angry about what happened to us; deeply dmamaged by it... but we need to direct that anger where it belongs, not at each other.
No I am not familiar with what Carole Anderson wrote in 1991. (And I have requested that you give sources, as I do). But it just goes to prove that CUB is not all bad or all wrong, just as neither is any other group of individual.
With all due respect for Karen's research...if you call the 60's "The Baby Scoop Era" are you not syaing that tehre were an abundnace of white infants adopted during that era? is that not confirmed by Solinger?
The percentage of premarital births placed for adoption has decreased since the 1970s. Analyses of three cycles of the National Survey of Family Growth show the following trend:
* From 1952 to 1972, 8.7% of all premarital births were placed for adoption.
* From 1973 to 1981, this percentage fell to 4.1%.
* From 1982 to 1988, it fell further to 2%. (Bachrach, Stolley, London, 1992)
ttp://statistics.adoption.com/information/adoption-statistics-placing-children.html
During the same period, International adoptions increased dramatically. These are facts.
I spent my life researching these facts. Nowhere, other than Diane Turski's original article, which she herself changed, is there any claim that the word birthmother has caused any change in adoption practice.
So, as I said just yesterday...if the "b" word bothers some of you, fine! I myself have made very effort not to use it. I try hard to be respectful and not hurt people.
No one is forcing you to use any word you don't want to use or "dictating." Not CUB, not me, not BJ Lifton (who is blamed in one article quoting Turski, for having created the term). http://www.amfor.net/AdoptSpeak.html
No one is forcing it on you. Define yourselves as you are comfortable and let the others do the same for themsvles.
I am putting this blog to rest for a while...or at least this subject. I will NOT post any more comments. I said what I have had say many times. You have all said what you have said. We are getting no where. This is not productive.
End of issue.
Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard(er) battle.
Plato
# posted by Senior Mom @ 7:44 AM 
