Wednesday, December 13, 2006
A Sample Reply
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On 12/10 I posted "An Opportunity to Educate"
Replies can be sent to:
This was mine:
Staff writer Michael Riley’s information on positive adoption language is skewed.
“Make an adoption plan, choose adoption, arrange an adoption, place a child in an adoptive home. These terms acknowledge that the birth parents were responsible for and active in making this decision.”
These terms may put a positive newspeak “spin” on adoption, thus increasing the “win-win” myth of adoption. The fact is, however, that no one gets pregnant with the intent to relinquish a child for adoption. It is not a “planned” or “chosen” event either for the relinquishing mother or, in most case, the adopting mother, either. For both it is more often a last resort. Calling otherwise does change the fact that every adoption begins with a tragedy: a mother who is unable to receive the financial, emotional, family and/or societal support she needs to keep her family intact.
While abandoned is totally inaccurate in the case of most adoptions, surrender and relinquish are not dirty words. They are the correct legal terms for what a mother does when she voluntarily consents tot he adoption of her child. She relinquishes or surrenders her parental rights. The papers she signs are relinquishment papers. It is a permanent irrevocable act.
While terms such as real or natural might be uncomfortable for adoptive parents, children always have a mother and father. They are THEN adopted into an adoptive family by adoptive parents parents. The prefix belongs to those substitute parents, no matter how real and everyday their role ,may be and no matter if they are th eonly parents the child ever knows and is bonded with emotionally, just as a step parents is always prefixed no matter how young the child is when he comes into their lives.
People use terms in their lives that are comfortable for them. Many people have very loving relationships with a step parent and have never known their original parent. They may well call that person Mom, Dad or mother, father. But they know that the actual relationship to them is a step parent. That does not diminish their love, affection or the closeness of that relationship in any way.
The truth is the truth. A rose by any other name is still a rose, but calling a radish a rose does not make it so.
On 12/10 I posted "An Opportunity to Educate"
Replies can be sent to:
This was mine:
Staff writer Michael Riley’s information on positive adoption language is skewed.
“Make an adoption plan, choose adoption, arrange an adoption, place a child in an adoptive home. These terms acknowledge that the birth parents were responsible for and active in making this decision.”
These terms may put a positive newspeak “spin” on adoption, thus increasing the “win-win” myth of adoption. The fact is, however, that no one gets pregnant with the intent to relinquish a child for adoption. It is not a “planned” or “chosen” event either for the relinquishing mother or, in most case, the adopting mother, either. For both it is more often a last resort. Calling otherwise does change the fact that every adoption begins with a tragedy: a mother who is unable to receive the financial, emotional, family and/or societal support she needs to keep her family intact.
While abandoned is totally inaccurate in the case of most adoptions, surrender and relinquish are not dirty words. They are the correct legal terms for what a mother does when she voluntarily consents tot he adoption of her child. She relinquishes or surrenders her parental rights. The papers she signs are relinquishment papers. It is a permanent irrevocable act.
While terms such as real or natural might be uncomfortable for adoptive parents, children always have a mother and father. They are THEN adopted into an adoptive family by adoptive parents parents. The prefix belongs to those substitute parents, no matter how real and everyday their role ,may be and no matter if they are th eonly parents the child ever knows and is bonded with emotionally, just as a step parents is always prefixed no matter how young the child is when he comes into their lives.
People use terms in their lives that are comfortable for them. Many people have very loving relationships with a step parent and have never known their original parent. They may well call that person Mom, Dad or mother, father. But they know that the actual relationship to them is a step parent. That does not diminish their love, affection or the closeness of that relationship in any way.
The truth is the truth. A rose by any other name is still a rose, but calling a radish a rose does not make it so.
# posted by Senior Mom @ 9:05 PM 
