Thursday, December 21, 2006
Tellin' it Like It Is!
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"Potential problems put them off adopting an American child: the fear that birth relatives would want contact or worse, to back out of the adoption. So Danial, 30, and Vicky, 29 decided to take their search abroad, a choice increasing numbers of American parents are making. Last year, Americans adopted 22,700 foreign-born children, three times as many as 15 years ago, according to the U.S. Department of State."
Continued a Oregonlive.com
REPLY TO: letters@news.oregonian.com
MY REPLY:
Danial and Vicky Taylor’s (An Aloha family grows through love, adoption, Dec. 21, 2006) adoption of 3 siblings is heartwarming. Those who find it in their heart to take in not one, but an entire family of siblings, are indeed kind-hearted, good natured people.
Adoption is about caring for orphans and children who have no family able to care for them. There are half a million American children in foster care, 143,000 of whom can never be reunited with their families. These are the “orphans” the bible speaks about caring about. The same bible that also asks us to be kind to widows – which any of these children’s mothers might be...instead of being afraid of them.
It is very sad that the good of any adoption would be spoiled by “fear that birth relatives would want contact or worse, to back out of the adoption” instead of being truly about the best needs of the child(ren). The parents of children in foster care who can be adopted have already had their parental rights terminated and cannot “back out of the adoption” - a cruel phrase for a parent being able to parent their own child. It is, however, in every child’s best interest to maintain a relationships with members of their original family.
Adoption is about caring for a child – not possessing them and not putting them in a loyalty bind, or made to feel ashamed of their genetic heritage.
"Potential problems put them off adopting an American child: the fear that birth relatives would want contact or worse, to back out of the adoption. So Danial, 30, and Vicky, 29 decided to take their search abroad, a choice increasing numbers of American parents are making. Last year, Americans adopted 22,700 foreign-born children, three times as many as 15 years ago, according to the U.S. Department of State."
Continued a Oregonlive.com
REPLY TO: letters@news.oregonian.com
MY REPLY:
Danial and Vicky Taylor’s (An Aloha family grows through love, adoption, Dec. 21, 2006) adoption of 3 siblings is heartwarming. Those who find it in their heart to take in not one, but an entire family of siblings, are indeed kind-hearted, good natured people.
Adoption is about caring for orphans and children who have no family able to care for them. There are half a million American children in foster care, 143,000 of whom can never be reunited with their families. These are the “orphans” the bible speaks about caring about. The same bible that also asks us to be kind to widows – which any of these children’s mothers might be...instead of being afraid of them.
It is very sad that the good of any adoption would be spoiled by “fear that birth relatives would want contact or worse, to back out of the adoption” instead of being truly about the best needs of the child(ren). The parents of children in foster care who can be adopted have already had their parental rights terminated and cannot “back out of the adoption” - a cruel phrase for a parent being able to parent their own child. It is, however, in every child’s best interest to maintain a relationships with members of their original family.
Adoption is about caring for a child – not possessing them and not putting them in a loyalty bind, or made to feel ashamed of their genetic heritage.
# posted by Senior Mom @ 3:20 PM 
Comments:
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Nothing in the article indicated that they were orphaned, yet adad alludes to the bible verse about helping orphans and widows while the actual passage speaks of "visiting the fatherless and the widows in their affliction" (generally, where they are).
But the threat of birthfamily is too great...must get thousands and thousands of miles away from "them". International adopters wouldn't be so afraid of these families if they didn't have this deep-seated need to own these children. Perhaps not all do, but its written out for all to see in the quote from the article, how many of them really feel.
What if the childrens mother is alive but widowed or single and destitute as is often the case in foreign countries. Is it helpful to her to permanently take her children from her rather than make a contribution for basic provisions (a fraction of what would be spent obtaining her children), especially as they want to be seen as "rescuing" and "saving" children? Do you rescue and save children by leaving their mother in the ditch?
This drive to have any or all family ties the children may have had, totally cut off, smacks of ownership, especially while there are so many children and sibling groups in need of homes right here in the U.S.
But the threat of birthfamily is too great...must get thousands and thousands of miles away from "them". International adopters wouldn't be so afraid of these families if they didn't have this deep-seated need to own these children. Perhaps not all do, but its written out for all to see in the quote from the article, how many of them really feel.
What if the childrens mother is alive but widowed or single and destitute as is often the case in foreign countries. Is it helpful to her to permanently take her children from her rather than make a contribution for basic provisions (a fraction of what would be spent obtaining her children), especially as they want to be seen as "rescuing" and "saving" children? Do you rescue and save children by leaving their mother in the ditch?
This drive to have any or all family ties the children may have had, totally cut off, smacks of ownership, especially while there are so many children and sibling groups in need of homes right here in the U.S.
# posted by 
: 5:40 PM
: 5:40 PM 
Adoption should be about caring but
adoption is flesh peddling pure and
simple-money get passed and clueless
people get a child that they will convince themselves is theirs-another bmw in the driveway-an accessory to their lifestyle. Nine time out of ten
adopters do not care about the true feelings of the child because if they did most would do the homework, study the issues and decide against it.
adoption is flesh peddling pure and
simple-money get passed and clueless
people get a child that they will convince themselves is theirs-another bmw in the driveway-an accessory to their lifestyle. Nine time out of ten
adopters do not care about the true feelings of the child because if they did most would do the homework, study the issues and decide against it.
# posted by : 11:53 PM
: 11:53 PM
Steffi -
I agree totally! I hope you read: "The Stork Market: America's Multi-Billion Dollar Unregulated Adoption Industry" which hopefully will open the eyes of many to these facts!
The book is available at: www.AdvocatePublications.com
It won't be available until Feb., but when it is everyone needs to buy one for themselves, and another for their local library at the very least! Perhaps for their Senators, congressmen and representatives as well!
The PUBLIC is CLUELESS about the truth of adoption. They all go along with the facade that it is a wonderful thing - rescuing poor motherless children.
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I agree totally! I hope you read: "The Stork Market: America's Multi-Billion Dollar Unregulated Adoption Industry" which hopefully will open the eyes of many to these facts!
The book is available at: www.AdvocatePublications.com
It won't be available until Feb., but when it is everyone needs to buy one for themselves, and another for their local library at the very least! Perhaps for their Senators, congressmen and representatives as well!
The PUBLIC is CLUELESS about the truth of adoption. They all go along with the facade that it is a wonderful thing - rescuing poor motherless children.
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