AdopTalk

Been thinking about safe havens...getting myself into "character" for tomorrow. Thought for a second or two about street theater - wearing a diaper and a big sign saying "Don't Dump Me." Scratched that idea when I checked the weather forecast for tomorrow in NYC: low 32. Brrr.

Also wondering why we don't have teen dumps. Any parent of a teen knows there are days we want to throw them out! That in turn got me thinking about spouses. Who hasn't thought about killing theirs for even just a split second?

THAT led me to this argument against Safe Havens:

Divorce is a legal option that doesn't stop crimes of passion or plotted, murderous rages, or the premeditated hiring of a hit man between those who promised to love one another..well, until death!

Funny, isn't it, that no one in a jealous rage stops to think rationally that - gee, instead of bludgeoning him to death, I could pick up the phone and call an attorney and find out how to file for divorce...or, just LEAVE!

But how could pro-lifers connect the dots between divorce and baby dumps, when they have yet to figure out that the death penalty is neither a deterrent for crime (for the very same reasons stated) nor that it is a contradiction to be pro-life and in favor of said death penalty.

On the other hand, I thought, why not have a baby dump right on every maternity dept. of every hospital. Nurses could hand you your baby and ask: breast or bottle? Keeper or a dumper? Signs could be posted about the hallways, letting all the new moms know that they don't have to wait to get their little brats home and then go looking for a convenient dumpster...there was one right down the hall, just past the nursery of all those horrible creature who never stop screaming! On the day of the mom's scheduled departure form the hospital, the nurses would again inquire: Wrap him to go, or will you just be leaving him here?

Of course, there's still be the drive-by window - open 24/7 to catch the home - and toilet - births. I picture a row of containers like the ones you place discarded clothing in. A LONG row...each one for a different race, age and gender. Male toddlers in this one; Caucasian infant girls in another. All neatly sorted. With grpahics on the front of each for non-English speaking dumpers. And a sound proof one for drug-addicted babies, to muffle their cries from neighbors in close proximity. Don't want to any of NIMBY protests.

Amusement parks might be a good location, along with school yards, of course! The mall...anywhere slutty teen girls hang out. Perhaps get stores like the Gap to offer a discount on post pregnancy pants for every baby dumped in their dumpster!

Well, I best be printing out all these ideas t hand out to those pro-life, pro-adoption, pro-safe haven folk! They need all the help they can get. They just can't find enough ways to keep up the supply. I mean, they restrict access to birth control, sex ed, abortion, day care, welfare...they create Catch-22 hoops for fathers to jump through that Houdini couldn't accomplish...and yet, still not enough babies being dumped...

I'll have to ask then why each one of them doesn't do the the "right" thing and have a baby to give to a "deserving couple"...AND/or adopt a REAL orphan from foster care! Yah, that's the ticket. I'll have to ask each of them that...for REAL!